Never going to come back down again

Well,

Here we go. I have decided to update my blog; various friends have urged me to do as much, but it's really something I am doing for myself. Without a doubt, part of the impetus to write again has come from my diligent loyalty in reading my boyfriend Zach's blog. Zach is able to write in a completely uninhibited and free-flowing manner...perhaps closest to the stream-of-consciousness genre; to be honest, I am envious of his raw and honest writing style. I tend to default to something a little more rigid, and though I like to think that I am comfortable with sharing personal issues, I realize that I tend to over-think my writing. Those of you who know me will of course not be surprised about that last point, given my OCD tendencies :)

Indeed, quite a bit has happened in my life since I last posted. I realize that most personal blogs end up taking one of two forms: either a recitation of one's life and events therein, or they tend to offer opinions about the world around us (in the case of my friend John BBankhurst, a blog which is a continuing diatribe and a weapon against those who have wronged him). I guess I'm not sure which of those I am more comfortable with; I think, heretofore, my blog has been something of a mélange of both of those stylistic choices, and I am pretty comfortable with that approach.

So, since I last posted, my personal life mostly involved me going on a series of first dates, ad absurdum. While I enjoyed meeting new people, and keeping myself engaged in a social scene, I was getting somewhat depressed that I had not met someone with whom I felt that special spark. So I was excited when I met Zach for the first time; we had first chatted in November, but had not met up until January. Our first date involved me bringing over soup and juice, since he was under the weather. Admittedly, I was first taken by how hot he is, but as we have dated more, that has been superceded by how kind and genuine and fun he is. He makes me very happy, and we have now been dating for over a month. I think a lot of the credit for that is due to our honest and open communication; neither of us is hesitant to bring up something that is bothering us, so there is no sublimation or repression of hurt feelings. At times I do feel a little scared, because I am opening my heart to him, and therefore exposing myself to getting hurt, but I know it's the right thing to do. Ok, I realize that I am probably annoying certain readers who have already heard plenty about how fond I am of Zach, haha.

Well other than that, I am still enjoying work. It remains challenging and invigorating, and it keeps my mind working, which is essential to me. Our firm is doing very well, and our platform is really kicking ass; I don't like to count my chickens before they've hatched, if you will, but I know that staying in this current job will be a very lucrative choice for me. And I suppose that is mostly good, but it may make me more complacent. I am certainly less likely to leave this job, and the investment banking field, knowing what I would be giving up. As always, in the back of my mind, is the fantasy of becoming a teacher. I am under no false pretense as to how hard a job that is, and that has been reinforced from my good friend Graham, who is currently teaching surly teenagers in the UK. I still find myself reading plenty of historical non-fiction, and I guess part of the dream is going back to get a Masters, and be allowed to fully immerse myself in historical studies. While I do enjoy my job, as I said, it's not as if I randomly pick up a book on bond math because it intrigues me, and I want to read it in my spare time.

Well I guess I should wrap up today's post. The fact that I have written today is not necessarily indicative of my future blog plans; I don't want to be locked in to some posting schedule or I will feel burned out. But check back now and again to see if I've updated.

Peace, and I'm Audi 5000

-Ben